I think i sorta joined a cult last night
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Randomize
