what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
