Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
