My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
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