I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
there was a trapeze. enough said
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
be right there i have to get my cape
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Randomize
