well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
