they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Randomize