I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
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