good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
