Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
