how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
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