I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
