I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize