Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
