we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
