so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize