drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Please don't give away my fajitas
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