Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Everclear isn't food dammit
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
