youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
I just gift wrapped bread.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
