I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
