i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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