Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
