your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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