There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
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