I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
