I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I showed him my bush... on skype.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize