I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
