Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
