me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize