I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Randomize
