my soul wont recognize me after tonight
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
