I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
