I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
