Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
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