just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
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