oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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