Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Found the puke drawer
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
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