i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
