Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
