my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
