Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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