Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
