my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize
