I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
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