we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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