i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
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