They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Is that strawberry winking at me??
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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