He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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