I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
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