I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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