I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Randomize
