mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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