Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
