I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
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