this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
