I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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