did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Randomize
