Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
