Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
