Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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