i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Randomize
